Thursday, April 16, 2009

We're going to have a problem....

Once again, I won't comment on how long it's been... but I had to write about this little comment from Elisa tonight....

Here's how the conversation went.. Elisa was pretending to give out Pez candies to kids in her class. She had 8 candies, so she started picking out the names of the lucky ones..

Elisa : " Melissa, Mae, Alexis, Me, Evan, Aaron, Sophia.. and....."

Me: " What about Stephen?"

Elisa: " I think Alex E. will get the last one..."

Me: " Why? Are you still friends with Stephen? He's such a nice boy!"

Elisa: " Yes, I'm still friends with him.. he's so nice!! (LONG PAUSE) He's just not my type."


Oh my God, we are so in for it with this little one!!!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Why is my sister such a freak?

My sister Jenna is a freak.. but she's a freak in a good, cool way. She is the MASTER of prank calls and practical jokes. She could make prank calls as a teenager so well; never laughing, never breaking character- no matter how weird the character may be. She fools my sister Lisa and me quite embarrassingly often. We get mad that she can pull one over on us WAY too often. We should know her by now, don't you think?

A good example- My sister Lisa is very sensitive when it comes to stomach viruses and vomiting. I was never able to understand her fear of that kind of ailment until recently- but she is very scared of her kids getting a "throw-up" kind of virus. Jenna knows this, yet has convinced Lisa on numerous occasions that she has exposed Lisa's kids to a stomach flu, or that one of Jenna's own children has vomited on the way to a family event. Lisa freaks, Jenna plays it like it's actually happened, and then admits she's just kidding... fun times.

She got me the other day, and I am still laughing about it 3 days later... Here's how it went. My sister asked me if Fred and I would be Godparents to her adorable little girl, Livia. Of course we were excited and happy about it, but sad that we live in Florida and they live in California. We needed to send a sponsorship form from our church in order to be Godparents..(The Catholic Church is strict like that...) Anyway, I asked for the form and told Jenna that is was being taken care of.

SO, on Monday, my sister called me. When I picked up the phone and said hello, she said "Thanks so much for my Birthday present!" I had sent her a Life is Good baseball hat, some Vera Bradley stationery, and Cadbury mini eggs. We talked about the gifts for quite a while, then chatted about diets, and kids and what we were doing for the day. Our conversation lasted maybe 45 minutes... we ended the conversation as usual, with "I love you"'s and "I'll talk to you soon!" and said our goodbye's... for all I knew, that was it.

No. Jenna had a plan. A more evil plan that would make me freak out initially, but have me laughing still 3 days later. Pure genius.

The phone rang about 5 minutes after we hung up... I saw that it was her again so I picked up, thinking she forgot to tell me something, and I said " What's up?" and she says.... "Thanks so much for my Birthday present!!!" She said it so enthusiastically yet calmly, that it FREAKED ME OUT. I seriously think it was 5 second at the most, but in that small amount of time, I thought, " Oh my God, my little sister has a brain tumor, what is wrong with her...????" I was shaking. So I said "What? We just talked about this!!!" and that little brat started laughing.. then she told me how hard it was for her to say that without laughing... I told her how hard it was to think that my sister may have some kind of brain tumor. I WAS SHAKING, for crying out loud!!!

Anyways, she got me good yet again. I wish I had the skills she had to do that to someone. I tried it on her today. When I faxed the form she needed today, I was on the phone with her...I faxed it, talked to her right before I sent it, let her know it went through.. Then I got the brilliant idea to call her back and pretend the whole situation never happened. I called her and said " SO, did you get the form I sent?" and all she said was " Nice try..." She's brilliant. I'm jealous. She has a gift.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Bad Mother Moment

I won't even comment on how long it's been since I've updated my blog. Sorry.. but things have been crazy, and to be honest, I had nothing funny or interesting to write about...

But then yesterday, I walked into Elisa's room when I heard her singing a familiar song. Her voice was so cute, and she LOVES to sing, so I spied on her. She was in her room with Bella teaching her a beloved nursery rhyme. I recognized the tune, but only when I got closer did I realize that Elisa, for some reason, had the lyrics all wrong... Here's what I heard..

"Oh my god he had a farm.. E-I-E-I-O........"

Where did I fail her in the learning of this song? I KNOW I have sung it to her before... WHAT WENT WRONG???

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Snoopy Come Home

I saw this movie when I was maybe 6 or 7 years old.. My parents had gone out for dinner and left my older sister Lisa, my younger sister Jenna and me with a babysitter. We were all Snoopy fans, especially Jenna who carried around a Snoopy for YEARS, until all that was left of it was a gray, bald Snoopy head. But we all loved Snoopy movies, so I am sure our babysitter thought " Yay!!I can put on this show for the girls and I won't have to do anything all night for them.... Groovy!!!!!!" (It was in the 70's of course...)

Oh my goodness, was she wrong...

This movie had the three of us in a crying fit. Seriously, we were inconsolable- and I think for years we all had the "Snoopy Come Home" theme song in our heads. And also the " No Dogs Allowed" song... When I saw that this movie was on TV a few weeks ago I made sure to DVR it... it's such a great movie, but still makes me tear up a bit!!! Get out the Kleenex, Lisa and Jenna!!! :)

( You have to copy and paste it.. sorry!!!)


Out of the mouths of babes....

The other day, Will's best friend had a sleepover at our house. After school, we had to go to a little Christmas party, where Elisa sat on Santa's lap and Bella screamed her head off. Will and his friend went to the Gingerbread Shop during this fiasco, and I gave them each a few dollars to buy a little treat for themselves... They found me after a few minutes, and they were both very excited. They had each bought two little superballs, and the lady at the Gingerbread shop had wrapped them up in a holiday bag. Very cute.

We got back home, and Tyler, (Will's friend) was struggling to carry his backpack, overnight bag, sweatshirt and superball bag. I was helping Elisa and Bella into the house, so Tyler said, "Will! Can you please help me?!" and Will ran over, saw that Tyler needed help carrying something, and said "Okay- I'll grab your ball bag...."

I almost died laughing.....

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen..

I am not sure which part cracks me up the most, but I have to admit that putting Elmo in there and watching him dance made me laugh myself into another asthma attack!!!!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

All I want for Christmas.......

Dear Santa:

I know you are in the business of giving.. I love that, don't get me wrong!! I was just wondering if you are capable of working some small, tiny miracles as well. You see, my 18 month old is at a stage where she really likes to do things that, well, drive me insane. I mean, really to the point of craziness. There are just a few things about her behavior I'd like to have tweaked, and I was really hoping you could help me out with this. It's really, really all I want for Christmas..

Here goes..

1.) Could you please make her stop being obsessed with the laundry detergent? I don't like to find her in the laundry room sitting atop a pile of Gain powder detergent. The first time was cute.. the 50th time, not so much.

2.) Could you maybe find a way to prevent her from dumping out and playing with the dog's food and water? It must happen about 10 times a day. Oh, and it would be great if you could also prevent her from slipping and falling in that disgusting mess as well. Dog food smells very gross.

3.) Is there a way you could prevent her from turning off the TV whenever we are watching something she knows we want to see? That would be great.

4.) I'd love it if she would eat something other than M&M's once in a while. That would make both my pediatrician and me happy!!!

5.) Bella has recently become obsessed with my Brillo pads. I used to keep them under my sink (which is the most convenient place to keep them) but have had to hide them in my pantry as of late. I was tired of finding them in our shoes and in the entertainment center. Could you maybe work some magic so I can keep them where I need them?

6.) Here's a biggie. Bella likes to pinch us. Really hard. And she knows what she's doing because when she pinches someone, SHE say's "OUCH"!!! So, if you could make her stop doing that, we'd be much happier and way less bruised.

7.) This is a special request from Elmo, our blind/deaf poodle... 'Yes, I love chocolate, but I am old and cannot tell if there is foil on the chocolate Bella is giving me. Foil covered chocolate is easier to INGEST than to actually DIGEST, if you know what I mean.. could we teach Bella how to peel the chocolate before feeding it to me? Thanks...'

8.) A new set of round doorknobs rather than the handles we have on our doors would be great, since Bella has learned not only to open the door and run outside with Elmo, but also that it makes Mommy run outside like a crazy person to look for her. Seeing Mommy run is funny. Round doorknobs would make life ever so much easier for me... and a lot less humiliating if neighbors happen to be walking by.

9.) Okay- one last thing... could you keep her as sweet and innocent-looking as she is, but take away the mischievous acts? My life would go a whole lot smoother that way, and I wouldn't lose her cuteness!!!

Well, Santa, there it is... all I want for Christmas. I hope it doesn't seem like too much to ask!!