Friday, September 26, 2008

The Birth Order of Children

Today I went to volunteer in Elisa's school because they were having an "Apple Extravaganza".. a party to celebrate all things apple... apple pie, apple cider, bobbing for apples, apple decorating. She had a BLAST. She is the tiniest, sweetest child with the biggest heart, and this was something she had been looking forward to for a few weeks... Today was finally the day, and she was excited because she knew I was coming in to help. She did not fully understand that I would have Bella with me... the 15 month old who refuses to sit in a stroller, lives to make a mess and leave chaos in her wake, and thrives on the very thought of possible destruction. She is a 7 year old boy with ADD in an 18 pound baby girl's body. Not kidding.

I had the opportunity to talk to Elisa's teacher, who, it turns out, I really do like. She ADORES Elisa ( and really, how could you not adore such a sweet child?!) and told me how much she loves having her in her class. As I was talking to her, Bella was trying to reach an apple, but having a dialogue with herself.. " NO, no no!! Stop!..." and throwing the apple. She was running after it, fell down, and I said " Oh, You're okay..." Elisa's teacher looked at me like I should run to her to pick her up. I just said " She's fine, I saw the whole thing happen.. plus she's my fourth child- I know she's alright!" She looked at me and laughed nervously (she does NOT have kids- and isn't expecting one anytime soon as Elisa has confirmed...) A few minutes later, I put Bella down to run around and a lady stepped back and caught herself before she fell onto her. Elisa's teacher was, once again, right there as I said " Oh, she's fine!! Don't worry!!" She looked at me and said " Oh you crack me up!!" But did she mean it like "Oh, you are a cool, laid-back Mom" or " Tonight I am going to call Child Services"?! I don't know. All I know is that every moment I live and breathe is trying to keep my precious kids safe and happy, I AM experienced in this department, and I have 4 awesome kids to prove it!!
Tonight, my friend Debbie sent me an e-mail that shows how you progress through the stages of motherhood and child-rearing, and it completely applies to me! When I went to pick up the kids after school, Bella had a lollipop, dropped it right outside my car, and I picked it up,wiped it on my jeans, and popped it right back in.. You just have to keep things in perspective, and remember... Five second rule!!!


1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.


Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.


The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?



1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your first born.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

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1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.


1st baby: You change your baby 's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diape r every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.


1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.


Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.


At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

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1 comment:

Jen said...

My grandmother had seven sons. I asked her what she did when she was pregnant with the last one. She said "I lived in denial for 8 months." Haha...