Hate them. So if YOU like dolls, please don't read this post, okay? But I have never liked dolls, even as a kid. I don't like clowns either, but that is a story for another day. Anyways, I try to hide my dislike (fear) of dolls from Elisa, who loves them. She asked for a Baby Chou Chou from Santa, which she will be getting for Christmas. It talks and crawls, and drinks a bottle. We even got her a stroller for it. I'm okay with it because it's hidden away in a closet until Christmas day. I haven't bought her many other dolls, and my parents bought her a Bitty Baby years ago- so she maybe has 3 or 4 of them. She doesn't play with them often, thank God, she likes her princesses and Polly Pockets, and so do I. But every once in a while, she wants to find a baby doll, put it in her stroller and walk it around. I put on a brave face and play along, but I am always looking for the doll to do something weird- I have watched way to many scary movies!!
Sometimes we go to an Amish restaurant that has a huge gift shop upstairs. There is a small room that is FILLED with the most realistic baby dolls I have even seen- from newborn babies to those creepy kid dolls who stand in the corner with their faces to the wall like they've been "bad". UGH- what sick-o made those dolls and who the HELL would want one in their house? And what about the dolls that are 4 feet tall? Elisa wanted one the last time we went to this gift shop, and all I could imagine was waking up and having it standing next to my bed. I know it's an irrational fear, but I can't help it. If that doll was in my house, I would never sleep. Once, when we were in that creepy gift shop room, Jack (who knows how I feel..) said, "Oh my God, Mom, I could SWEAR that doll's head just moved".. I must have looked like I was having a seizure the way I got myself out of there. So, the point is, I hate baby dolls.
So, a few days ago, Bella came out of the playroom with a doll I had not see in a LONG time- I barely even remembered it at all, so I said " Elisa, is this yours?" She said "Yes, I got it when we lived in our old house and I was three." It looks like an okay doll, but you turn on the switch and it makes cooing noises, it says 'Mama" and giggles a little bit. It's mostly just indistinguishable babbling. Last night I was brushing Elisa's teeth and Bella came into the bathroom with the freaking doll. And Elisa said "It got in the light." I didn't know what she meant, so I said " What?" and she says "That's what the doll says.. 'It got in the light'.." and I pressed the doll's stomach (where the button is) and sure enough, after the 3rd time pressing the stomach, it says clear as day, " It got in the light".... WHAT THE !@!#$%^&*??!?! I have goosebumps typing this right now- I swear. I am not lying, I am not imagining it, I am not even trying too hard to hear it. It says "IT GOT IN THE LIGHT"- what does that mean?!?
Needless to say, the doll is in the garbage can in the garage, waiting for pick-up tomorrow morning. The trash guy cannot come soon enough. Now I am re-thinking the purchase of the Baby Chou Chou.. I can just see it being all great for the first few weeks, and then hearing it say something like "Take me for a walk in my new stroller, beyotch!!" I will commit myself to an institution!